Fostering may be right for you if you have flexible time, a stable household, financial security without relying on the per diem, and the patience to care for a child who may not trust adults yet. Many children placed through Safe Harbours have experienced trauma or live with mental health, developmental or medical needs, so readiness matters more than experience. The 15 questions below cover the areas that decide whether fostering will work for you and your household. Answer them honestly. Nobody sees your answers but you.
What fostering in Ontario involves
Foster care is temporary care for a child who cannot live safely with their family. As a foster parent, you handle daily care: meals, clothing, school support, appointments and a predictable home. Legal custody stays with child protection services, and you work alongside a team that includes caseworkers, teachers and, often, the child’s birth family. Placements can last a few weeks, several months or several years. A placement may end with the child returning to their family, being adopted, or moving into extended care. Each child is matched to a home based on their needs and the family’s strengths.
Fostering a child with higher needs
Children placed through Safe Harbours often arrive after serious disruption in their lives. Some have experienced trauma or neglect. Others live with mental health challenges or developmental or medical needs. Day to day, that can mean:
- A child who tests boundaries to find out whether you will stay
- Strong emotional reactions that need a calm, consistent response
- More appointments, school meetings and family visits than a typical household schedule
- Progress that is slow and uneven
You don’t need to be an expert before you start. Training in trauma-informed care is completed before a child is placed with you. What fostering does need is your willingness to keep showing up on the hard days.
The self-assessment: 15 questions to ask yourself
Your time and schedule
1. Can your work schedule flex for daytime medical appointments, school meetings and family visits?
2. If a school calls at 2 p.m., is there someone in your household who can respond?
3. Do you have a driver’s licence and regular access to a car?
Your home
4. Do you have a space where a child can sleep and have some privacy?
5. Are you comfortable with home visits and regular check-ins from a caseworker? Your finances
6. Can you cover your household expenses without counting on the per diem?
Your emotional readiness
7. Can you stay patient with a child who may push you away for weeks or months?
8. Can you respond calmly to anger, withdrawal or other behaviour shaped by trauma?
9. Are you prepared to say goodbye when a placement ends, even when it ends well?
10. Can you support a child’s relationship with their birth family, even when it is complicated? Your household
11. Has everyone who lives with you talked about fostering and agreed to it?
12. If you have children, have you thought about how sharing your time and attention will affect them?
Your support and working style
13. Do you have friends or family you can call on when you need a break or a hand?
14. Are you willing to complete training before a placement and keep learning after it?
15. Are you comfortable working as part of a team and following child welfare policies, even when you would do something differently?
What your answers mean
Mostly yes. Fostering is likely a realistic fit. Your next step is to check the formal requirements and talk to an agency about what the process involves.
Some no. That doesn’t rule you out. Support networks, schedules and household conversations can all be worked on before you apply. Note the questions you hesitated on and bring them to a first conversation.
Several no, especially on time, finances or household agreement. Now may not be the right time, and that is a useful answer. See “If now isn’t the right time” below.
What fostering can mean for a child, and for you
For a child, the most important thing a foster home offers is stability when little else in their life is stable. With consistent care, children who arrive with fear or mistrust can begin to feel safe, settle into school and build friendships.
For foster parents, the work builds practical skills in trauma-informed care, crisis response and cultural awareness. Families often describe fostering as something they do together, and some stay in touch with children long after a placement ends.
For a closer look at daily life, read what it’s like to be a foster parent in Ontario.
What makes fostering hard
Be honest with yourself about these before you apply.
- Behaviour shaped by trauma. A child may struggle to trust, test limits or have intense emotional reactions. These usually need the same steady response, repeated over time.
- Time during the working day. Medical appointments, school meetings and family visits often fall during regular work hours.
- Birth family contact. Supporting visits and contact with a child’s birth family is often part of the placement, and it can be emotionally complicated.
- Goodbyes. Even when a child returns home or is adopted, letting them go is hard. Your household needs to be ready for it.
If you’re wondering about the application process itself, read is it hard to become a foster parent in Ontario?
Who can foster in Ontario
You don’t need to own your home or be married. Single people, same-sex couples and families with children of their own can all apply. Every applicant completes background, medical and driving record checks, plus training, before a child is placed in their home.
See the full list in eligibility and requirements for becoming a foster parent in Ontario.
When fostering isn’t the right fit
Fostering is unlikely to work well if:
- You are counting on the per diem as income. It is not counted as income, so your household needs to be financially stable without it. See how foster care compensation works in Ontario.
- Your schedule can’t flex for appointments and visits.
- You aren’t comfortable with caseworker visits and oversight of your home.
- People in your household aren’t on board.
- You don’t have anyone to lean on when things get hard.
Recognizing this early protects you and the child. Waiting is better than starting a placement that can’t last.
If now isn’t the right time
A “not yet” answer still leaves you with options:
- Work on the areas you answered no to, such as building a support network or talking it through with your household.
- Read about compensation, eligibility and daily life so you know what to expect when the timing is right.
- Ask a question now, with no obligation to apply.
Common questions about deciding to foster
How do I know if I’m ready to foster?
You’re likely ready if your schedule can flex for appointments, your household agrees, you’re financially stable without the per diem, and you can stay patient with a child who may not trust you at first. The 15 questions above cover each of these areas.
Do I need experience with trauma to foster?
No. Training in PRIDE, trauma-informed care and crisis intervention is completed before a child is placed with you. What matters most is your willingness to learn and to stay consistent.
Can I foster if I work full time?
Yes, with planning. The question is who can respond when a school calls during the day or an appointment can’t be moved.
Can I foster if I have children of my own?
Yes. Families with children can apply. Think about how sharing your time and attention will affect your children, and include them in the decision.
How long does a foster placement last?
It depends on the child’s situation. Some placements last a few weeks, others several years. A placement can end with the child returning to their family, adoption or extended care.
Is fostering the same as adopting?
No. Fostering is temporary care while child protection services hold legal custody. Adoption permanently transfers parental rights to the adoptive parent. Some foster placements lead to adoption, but fostering itself is not adoption.